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How To Choose The Perfect First Small Beginner Dildo for Your Virgin Hole

Introduction

Choosing the perfect first small beginner dildo for your virgin hole can feel like navigating a maze of options. Are you concerned about finding the right size, material, or realism? Maybe you've heard about suction cups but aren't sure if they add to the experience. These are common questions for beginners, and we're here to guide you through them. Whether you're looking for something lifelike or a toy that offers hands-free fun, this article breaks down the best options to suit your needs. We'll cover everything from handcrafted realism to bendable shafts and even body-safe materials, ensuring your first experience is as comfortable and enjoyable as possible.

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Perfect size for beginners

At 4.92 inches long and with an insertable length of 3.93 inches, this dildo is perfect for newbies. Joshua from the reviews can't get enough, calling it "magical" and loving its hyper-realistic feel. With a soft touch and strong suction cup, this toy can stick to almost any smooth surface for hands-free play. M, another satisfied customer, recommends warming it up in hot water to make it feel even more lifelike.

Handcrafted realism

Handmade by skilled artisans, each dildo is unique. The realistic design, complete with detailed veins and a lifelike head, is crafted from silicone. Renae, a newbie, found it perfect, saying, "It fits, so I sits." The attention to detail makes this a standout option for those seeking an authentic experience.

Suction cup for hands-free pleasure

The strong suction cup base allows for hands-free fun. Stick it to the shower wall or floor for an exhilarating experience. Confusing Shopper found it super realistic but wished for a bit more curve. This toy is versatile and can be used for both vaginal and anal play, making it a great addition to any collection.

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Realistic feel with bendable shaft

This 6-inch dildo from Lovehoney offers a lifelike experience with its bendable shaft and detailed veins. Julie found it better than expected, saying, "This is my new favorite toy." The tight, textured balls add to the realism and provide external stimulation.

Harness compatible for versatile play

Designed for versatility, this dildo is harness-compatible, making it perfect for strap-on or pegging play. While Private User noted a discrepancy in size, it's essential to confirm measurements before purchase. The flexible shaft can be angled for targeted internal massage, enhancing G-spot or P-spot stimulation.

Suction-cup base for hands-free fun

The suction-cup base allows for hands-free adventures. Attach it to a hard, flat surface and let the fun begin. Swazzie praised its size and suction power, making it a great starter toy. However, be aware of potential shipping delays if ordering from outside the U.S.

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Triple density construction for a realistic feel

This 5-inch dildo from Blush Novelties features triple density construction, making it both soft and firm. Arvin Pearson found it great for pleasure, calling it "flexible and firm." The posable shaft contours to your body, enhancing your experience.

Sturdy suction cup for hands-free play

The firm suction cup base anchors to most smooth surfaces, allowing for hands-free fun. Juno described it as "small but powerful," perfect for tightness and strap-on compatible. The dildo is made from thermoplastic elastomer (TPE), ensuring it's safe for your body.

Easy to clean and maintain

Lab-tested and certified to contain no harmful substances, this toy is easy to clean with soap and water. Jennifer Ramos was obsessed with its realistic feel, calling it the best skin dildo she's purchased. However, some users, like Emily Barber, noted a strong rubber smell upon arrival, which should dissipate after a few washes.

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Realistic and lifelike

This 4-inch dildo is sculpted to look and feel lifelike, making it a great beginner's anal toy. John found it "perfect size" and praised its realistic texture. The slim design is ideal for those new to anal play or pegging.

Curved for intense stimulation

The curved shape targets the G-spot or prostate for intense stimulation. In2Tech found it good but noted it could be better for those who prefer a small size. The suction cup base allows for hands-free play, making it versatile for various uses.

Affordable and body-safe

Priced at $8.99, this dildo is an affordable option for beginners. Made by Blush Novelties, it's body-safe and waterproof. However, be cautious of potential issues with packaging, as one user reported receiving a dirty and possibly used product. Always inspect your purchase upon arrival.

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Extra thick for advanced players

This 11.9-inch dildo is designed for advanced players seeking a fuller sensation. With a diameter of 3.51 inches, it promises deep penetration. However, JacknJill was disappointed with the size discrepancy, finding it smaller than advertised.

Unique design for better stimulation

The uncut tip and raised particles around the shaft provide extra friction during thrusting. The no-ball design allows for deeper penetration, enhancing the experience. Made from dual-layered silicone, it's soft outside but robust inside, offering a comfortable yet sturdy feel.

Suction cup base for hands-free fun

The suction cup base allows for hands-free play in various settings. Whether in the kitchen, bathroom, or bedroom, you can enjoy this toy anytime. However, it's essential to check the size chart before purchase, as this dildo is only suitable for experienced users.

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Your new boyfriend

The Thrusting Dildo Vibrator for Women is a powerhouse of pleasure, offering a realistic experience with its 9-inch length and lifelike design. One user, Alienatol, praises it as "your new boyfriend," noting the strong suction and versatile vibration settings. It's perfect for those who want something reliable that can "get you there without all the negative side effects of an actual partner."

A toy to remember

Michelle Martinez was "bewildered by this lil guy" she named Timmy. She highlights its ability to hit all the right spots with its throbbing sensations. This dildo isn't just for women; it's also suitable for men, making it a versatile addition to any sex life.

Amazing in the best way possible

Reagan Laird raves about the heating function, which adds an extra layer of realism. The suction cup is top-tier, as it sticks firmly to any surface, enhancing hands-free play. This dildo is also easy to clean and isn't too loud, making it discreet as well as effective.

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Lovely little guy

The Sweet n Small 4.5" Soft Realistic Short Dildo is perfect for those new to sex toys. One reviewer, Secret, mentions it's "very soft and so comfortable for booty." Its smaller size makes it ideal for gentle play, and the suction cup base allows for hands-free fun.

If you're thinking about it, just buy it

Lilli recommends this dildo for its great suction, although she wishes it had testicles. The realistic feel and flexibility are standout features, making it a versatile choice for both solo and partnered play.

Yep... Purple

EricaAshley MORNINGSTAR loves the purple color and mentions it should help open her sacral chakra. The non-porous PVC material ensures it's safe for the body, although it has a distinct chemical smell that might affect sensitive users.

Beginner Real Slim 5 Inch Dildo

Easy insertion

The Beginner Real Slim 5 Inch Dildo is a great starter toy with its slim size and tapered tip. Steve, the lone reviewer, found it easy to use and praised its pleasant feeling. It's suitable for both men and women, making it a versatile choice for beginners.

Intense stimulation

This dildo features a raised veiny texture that provides intense stimulation. The suction cup base allows for hands-free use on any smooth, flat surface, and it's compatible with most strap-on harnesses for added versatility. Made from high-quality, body-safe materials, it's easy to clean and designed for long-lasting use.

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Small things come in small packages

The Au Naturel Carlito combines a soft outer layer with a firm inner core, providing a realistic feel. Shopping Chick found it "easy to hide and gets the job done," despite its small size. The flexible shaft bends to hit all the right spots, making it a reliable choice.

Soft as silk

Girlfox appreciates Carlito for its non-intimidating size and silky feel. It's great for beginners who can handle toys with a diameter of 1.5 inches. The dildo comes with a slight plastic smell, but airing it out and using cornstarch can help. However, some users have reported it being sticky and prone to tearing.

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Perfect size

The Beginner's Clear Jelly Dildo is a hit among novices. Nicole Swanson and other reviewers laud its "good size for beginners." With a 6.3-inch insertable length, it's perfect for those new to sex toys and looking to explore.

Good, easy, but small

BigPapa found the dildo "easy to use, insert, and clean," but noted its small size. It's great for a gentle introduction to dildos, making it an ideal choice for both men and women. The powerful suction cup base allows for versatile, hands-free play on various surfaces.

Lasted up to 70 miles per hour

Robert Jones tested the suction cup's strength and found it impressive, as it "lasted up to 70 miles per hour." This makes it a reliable, fun addition to any sex toy collection. However, some users like RavenRising have reported it becoming sticky after use, so keep that in mind.

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This monster toy has a satisfying texture and beautiful color

Looking for a unique toy that will take your pleasure to new heights? The Jupupoxo Realistic Monster Dildo certainly fits the bill. This pink beast is not just eye-catching but also incredibly functional. “Wow! Not for the faint of heart,” says one user, emphasizing its enormous size and fantastic texture. Made of medical-grade silicone, it's firm yet flexible, and most reviewers can’t stop raving about its quality.

Sticks to almost any surface with a strong suction cup

One standout feature is the strong suction cup. Attach it to your bathroom counter, bathtub walls, or any smooth surface for hands-free fun. “It almost rearranged my bathroom counter,” one customer humorously noted. Another reviewer called it their “absolute new favorite,” praising its softness and perfect size.

Perfect for those who love a challenge

With a total length of 8.66 inches and an insertable length of 7 inches, this toy might be a bit intimidating for beginners. But if you’re ready to step up your game, this is a must-have addition to your collection. And don’t worry about your privacy; the discreet packaging ensures your secret stays safe.

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A massive toy for a fulfilling experience

If you thought the Jupupoxo was a monster, wait until you meet the Huge Thick Realistic Monster Dildo by Wildolo. This 8.73-inch beast is in a league of its own. One reviewer exclaimed, “I was blown away by the incredible attention to detail and quality!” It’s not just about size; the lifelike textures and veining make it feel incredibly real.

Vibrations that send you into a climax

What sets this toy apart is its versatility. With 10 vibration modes and app compatibility, the possibilities are endless. “The vibrations are amazing,” noted one ecstatic user, adding that the app gives you even more control. The suction cup is equally impressive, keeping the toy firmly in place no matter how wild your session gets.

Not for beginners, but worth the effort

This toy is definitely not for the faint-hearted. “It’s HUGE…like an absolutely Massive Juggernaut of a Toy,” said one reviewer. But if you’re an experienced user looking for something extraordinary, this is your golden ticket. Like the Jupupoxo, it also comes in discreet packaging, ensuring your secret is safe.

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A perfect starter for beginners

The 4.3Inch Realistic Soft Small Dildo by Jicjocy is the perfect introductory toy for those new to the world of dildos. With a lifelike design and soft silicone material, it's easy to use and incredibly realistic. One reviewer said, “What more can I say….it’s a dildo! It is nice though. Not too big, not too small.”

Easy to clean and skin-friendly

Made with skin-friendly silicone, this toy is flexible and gentle. The material ensures it's easy to clean, and you can even use it in the bathroom. “The silicone dildo is 100% waterproof,” explains one satisfied user. When you’re done, a quick wash with warm soapy water is all it takes.

Small size, big pleasure

Despite its smaller size, this toy packs a punch. “Mine was bigger, great experience 10/10,” commented one happy customer. Its compact size makes it ideal for both vaginal and anal penetration, giving you the freedom to explore different pleasures. And like all the products mentioned, it comes in a discreet package to protect your privacy.

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Very filling and incredibly big

For those who enjoy a challenge, the Thrusting Dildo Monster is a dream come true. With a whopping length of 9.75 inches, this toy is designed to fill you up completely. “Very filling, very big!” says one delighted user. The suction cup is strong enough to hold the toy in place, even during the wildest sessions.

A 4-in-1 monster you absolutely deserve

This toy is not just big; it's versatile. It offers 10 thrusting and 10 vibrating modes, along with a heating feature. “Experience customizable fun with 10 thrusting and 10 vibrating modes,” says the product description. The remote control adds an extra layer of convenience, allowing for hands-free play.

Premium body-safe silicone with discreet packaging

Made from body-safe silicone, this toy is both soft and durable. “The silicone is soft and has good give to ease into it,” noted one reviewer. It’s also waterproof, making it easy to clean. And don’t worry about your privacy; the discreet packaging ensures your secret is safe. This toy is a must-have for any collector of unique, high-quality toys.

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Real feeling with a strong suction cup

The 3 Different Sizes of Dark Brown Color Realistic Dildo by SOOUZEE is a versatile option for both beginners and experienced users. One reviewer mentioned, “Real feeling, suction okay, nice if you are a starter.” The medium size measures 5.9 inches in length, making it a comfortable yet exciting choice.

Soft silicone material for a lifelike experience

Made from soft silicone, this toy feels incredibly realistic. “The silicone material makes it feel realistic with all the veins and the head looks perfect,” said another satisfied customer. The soft material ensures it’s gentle on your skin, making it perfect for extended play sessions.

Discreet packaging ensures privacy

Like the other products, this dildo comes in discreet packaging, so you can shop with confidence. One reviewer noted, “Product ok paint / gloss finish not consistent over all area,” but overall, the toy received positive feedback for its realistic feel and strong suction cup.

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Perfect size for beginners and intermediates

This medium realistic bent dildo is a delight in a beautiful purple hue. Coco from the United States can't stop raving about it, stating it's the "perfect size" and highlighting the strong suction cup that sticks even with lube. It’s great for hands-free fun, allowing you to get adventurous without the worry of it slipping.

Realistic yet soft texture

Crafted from medical-grade liquid silicone, this dildo feels softer than many others. It boasts prominent glans for that satisfying pop when sliding out. JJ also chimed in, complimenting the material’s feel and how well it fits in a strap-on harness. For $16.99, this toy is a steal, offering quality and lifelike details.

Versatile and user-friendly

Whether you’re looking for vaginal or anal play, this 5.8-inch dildo is a solid choice. Littlepepper000 loves its slight tilt, making it perfect for hitting the right angles. And with a 4.5 out of 5 rating from 63 reviews, it’s clear this toy is a crowd-pleaser. Don’t worry about privacy either; SHIJI ensures discreet packaging and excellent customer service.

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Massive size for advanced users

Ready to take your play to the extreme? This 3.8-inch diameter dildo is for those who crave intense stretch and maximum stimulation. Marla Griffin couldn’t be happier, saying it exceeds even the big toy companies' quality. It’s perfect for those who want to reach their fullness.

Soft yet firm for deep penetration

Made from high-quality dual-density silicone, the outer layer is soft and flexible, while the inner core provides firm support. The lifelike veiny texture adds friction and stimulation, making every thrust feel authentic. Marla also appreciates the super-soft outer core, calling it the best XXXL silicone dildo on Amazon.

Stable and versatile

The strong suction cup base allows for hands-free fun on any flat surface. Attach it to your bathroom tub or floor and unleash your wild side. At $62.99, it’s an investment in your pleasure. Just remember, this beast is for advanced players only!

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Deep rumbly vibrations

This 5.5-inch vibrating dildo packs a punch with its 10 vibrating functions. Darin Wilton's partner is “very happy with it,” and that’s all that matters. The twist dial makes adjusting the vibrations easy, so you can find just the right setting.

Realistic feel and body-safe material

Made with X5 Superior TPE, this dildo feels incredibly real against the skin. It’s also lab-tested to ensure it contains no harmful substances like phthalates or BPA. For just $19.15, you’re getting a quality toy that’s both safe and satisfying.

Perfect for beginners

With a slim size of 5.5 inches in length and 1 inch in width, this dildo is ideal for those new to toys. It’s also waterproof, so you can take your play into the shower. Simple, effective, and budget-friendly, this dildo is a great addition to any collection.

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Ideal for gentle play

This 4-inch short dildo is perfect for those who prefer a gentler touch. Antonio from the United States loves it, saying, "I ❤️ This!" Its realistic feel and flexibility make it a joy to use, whether solo or with a partner.

Versatile and reliable

The suction cup base sticks to almost any smooth surface and is harness compatible. However, Nalaj2610 noted it doesn’t stay in strap-ons well, so keep that in mind. For just $9.99, it’s a great toy for gentle, versatile play.

Body-safe and easy to clean

Made from non-porous PVC, this dildo contains no fragrances, phthalates, or latex. It’s easy to clean and maintain, ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience every time. With a 4.4 out of 5 rating from 5 reviews, it’s a solid choice for those seeking a smaller, gentler toy.

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Perfect size and feel

This 6-inch dildo features Sensa Feel Dual Density Technology, making it sensuously soft yet erect. William found it to be the "perfect size" with a soft, skin-like feel. It’s great for those who want a realistic experience without going too big.

High-quality silicone

Refibe praises its high-quality silicone, noting the strong suction cup and dual density design. It’s harness compatible and can stick to almost any smooth, flat surface. At $22.99, it’s a reliable and versatile addition to your toy collection.

Great for beginners and intermediate users

With a 4.1 out of 5 rating from 132 reviews, this dildo is a hit among users. Tracy Corbett, a first-time dildo purchaser, finds it "very enjoyable to handle and play with." Whether you’re just starting or looking to add to your collection, this dildo offers a realistic and satisfying experience.

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Sensations that leave you out of breath

Imagine sitting at dinner, your partner secretly controlling your pleasure with the app. The wearable vibrating panties with a thrusting dildo and 9 clitoral vibrators make this possible. One thrilled reviewer said, "I was left speechless and unable to comprehend what had just taken place." This toy offers 9 vibrations and 9 hands-free thrusting modes, ensuring an experience that will have you seeing stars.

Discreet fun in public

The toy boasts a sleek, ergonomic design that stays in place, whether you're walking or lying down. A reviewer shared, "It's very quiet, so someone would have to be very close to hear it." The toy’s ultra-quiet motors mean you can enjoy it discreetly in public. The remote works up to 38 feet away, and the app control means long-distance fun is endless. Ideal for adventurous couples!

Comfort and versatility

Made of soft silicone, this pink toy is comfortable to wear all day. One user mentioned, "Soft material and lightweight. Great variety of options between the button on the device, remote, and phone app." It's rechargeable via magnetic USB and waterproof for easy cleaning. Plus, it comes in discreet packaging, perfect for a surprise gift.

Strap U Pink Silicone Strap-On Dildo, Small

Perfect for beginners

The Strap U Pink Silicone Strap-On Dildo is a great choice for those new to penetrative play. It's slim, soft, and easy to insert. One reviewer said, "This is great for newbies getting into anal play." Made from body-safe silicone, it is compatible with most harnesses, making it versatile.

A good option for anal play

Its 5.25-inch length and 0.8-inch diameter make it accessible and non-intimidating. A satisfied customer mentioned, "This is a really good option for beginners or those who need a smaller dildo." The suction cup base offers hands-free fun, though some found it a bit short for strap-on use. Nonetheless, it’s perfect for hand-held play.

Easy to clean

One user noted, "The texture makes it very hard to clean," but also added, "Size and texture is perfect for the feel and functionality." This toy is easy to clean with warm soapy water, and its non-porous silicone material ensures safety and hygiene.

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Unique sensations with an alien twist

The Fantasy Dildo Tentacle Dildo is not just eye-catching; it's designed to deliver unique pleasure. A reviewer shared, "The texture is amazing, easy to clean and amazing suction." With its S-shaped spiral and octopus suckers, this toy offers intense sensations and mind-blowing massages.

Suitable for all experience levels

This 9.7-inch long, 20.1-ounce silicone dildo is perfect for both beginners and the experienced. Its tapered design and different depths of insertion cater to various needs. One user mentioned, "Bigger than expected - but since when has that been a bad thing!" It’s a versatile toy that can be used as a huge dildo or an anal plug.

Reliable and easy to clean

The firm suction cup allows for hands-free pleasure, making it great for shower play. A user noted, "Very high quality fantasy tentacle dildo. Easy to clean with warm soapy water." Its premium silicone material ensures comfort and durability, making it a worthy addition to any collection.

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Realistic and soft

This dildo is crafted to mimic a real penis, complete with veins and a soft texture. One user highlighted, "The material is non-toxic and safe to use. The elasticity was great." It’s made of PVC and silicone, ensuring safety and comfort.

Great for newbies

With a length of 7 inches and a width of 1.5 inches, this dildo is perfect for beginners. A reviewer noted, "Size is great for newbies, girth is amazing for newbies as well." Its powerful suction cup base allows for hands-free play, adding to its versatility.

Easy to clean and use

Cleaning is simple with warm soapy water, and the toy’s flexibility ensures it can bend without distortion. One user mentioned, "Easy to clean, easy to see what needs to be cleaned." This dildo offers an excellent balance of realism and functionality, making it a great addition to any collection.

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Small but effective

This 5-inch realistic dildo is perfect for those new to sex toys. One reviewer stated, "It's as if it's real and made with high quality." Its size and flexibility make it ideal for both vaginal and anal play.

Versatile and fun

The toy is great for various uses, from solo play to pranks. One user said, "Great for art projects and pranks. Set it on your fireplace mantle to make your friends uncomfortable." Its soft, realistic texture adds to the fun, making it a versatile addition to your toy collection.

Easy to clean

Made from high-quality silicone, this dildo is easy to clean with warm soapy water. A user commented, "Well constructed and comfortable." Its waterproof design means you can take it into the shower for some wet and wild fun.

First Timer's 4 Inch Suction Cup Dildo

Thick and satisfying for beginners

The First Timer's 4 Inch Suction Cup Dildo by Blush Novelties is perfect for those just starting their journey. Priced at $23.99, this vanilla-colored dildo brings a realistic look and feel, making it a great choice for anyone new to using sex toys. With a length of 9.5 inches (8.5 inches insertable) and a width of 2 inches, it offers a satisfying experience without being overwhelming.

Strong suction cup and harness compatibility

One standout feature is its strong suction cup, allowing for hands-free play on almost any smooth surface. Additionally, it's O-ring harness compatible, providing versatility in how you use it. Made from body-safe materials, it meets international safety standards and is free from phthalates and latex.

Safety and realism in one package

A user mentioned, "Would you consider dilators? It’s not as fun but may be a good way to slowly move up in size to get to something you like the look of." This dildo is a great beginner-friendly option that makes the experience comfortable and less intimidating, thanks to its realistic design and body-safe materials.

2.24'' Diameter Hugege Thick Butt Plug

Double knot design for extra pleasure

The 2.24'' Diameter Hugege Thick Butt Plug by Janwkami is a fantasy-filled toy that promises unique sensations. Priced at $9.99, this pink and blue silicone plug has a double knot design, with a top knot diameter of 1.61 inches and a bottom knot of 2.24 inches. Slide this bumpy beauty in for intense G-spot or prostate stimulation.

Glow in the dark for nighttime fun

Its glow-in-the-dark feature adds an exciting element, making it easy to find even in the dark. One user raved, "This thing proves that shape can be life-changing. Totally love it and feels amazing." The powerful suction cup base allows for hands-free play, sticking firmly to smooth surfaces like chairs, tables, and shower walls.

Soft, high-quality silicone

Made of high-quality liquid silicone, this plug is soft to the touch and durable. A reviewer noted, "This plug is very soft yet firm, so it goes in easily with just a little lubricant." It's also easy to clean, thanks to its non-porous design, ensuring no harmful bacteria can hide.

8.1' Dragon Dildo Silicone Monster Dildo

A luminous fantasy experience

The 8.1' Dragon Dildo by Catkoco offers a unique and thrilling experience. Priced at $22.99, this blue silicone dildo is designed with a tapered tip and alluring knot, perfect for both G-spot and prostate stimulation. Its ability to glow in the dark adds an extra layer of excitement.

Strong suction for hands-free play

The dildo's strong suction cup allows for hands-free play on various surfaces, from walls to floors. One user shared, "Fun glow in the dark toy and the knots are crazy. Gives a good stretch on the knots. Very cool sensation." This makes it a fantastic choice for those looking to spice up their solo playtime.

Soft yet sturdy material

Crafted from premium body-safe silicone, this dildo is firm yet flexible, making it durable and easy to clean. A reviewer mentioned, "The suction cup is strong like almost magnetic feeling at times, so you don't even have to hold it." This ensures a safe and enjoyable experience every time.

Blush Novelties Dr. Skin - Dr. Lucas - 5 Inch Realistic Dildo

Realistic and posable for ultimate pleasure

The Blush Novelties Dr. Skin - Dr. Lucas is a 5-inch realistic dildo designed for men, women, and couples. Priced at $20.99, this mocha-colored dildo features a strong suction cup and is O-ring harness compatible, offering versatility in use. Its posable shaft contours to your body, enhancing pleasure.

Meticulously crafted for quality

Made from pure platinum-cured silicone, this dildo is enveloped in satin smooth Ultrasilk, providing a silky feel. One user noted, "They work great with water-based lube and are easy to clean." This ensures a comfortable and satisfying experience.

Beginner-friendly options

A user mentioned, "Would you consider dilators? It’s not as fun but may be a good way to slowly move up in size to get to something you like the look of." This dildo is perfect for beginners, offering a manageable size and a realistic feel. Its sturdy suction cup base allows for hands-free play on most smooth, flat surfaces.

8.2 Inch Clear Dildo Sex Toys

Perfect size and penetration

The 8.2 Inch Clear Dildo by JNHHX is designed for those seeking a bit more length and texture. Priced at $19.99, this clear silicone dildo offers a glossy surface and lifelike design, making it comfortable for masturbation and sex games. It can be used with both water-based and silicone-based lubricants.

Strong suction cup for hands-free play

One user shared, "The suction cup is strong, the length is impressive, the texture makes for an exciting use." The powerful suction cup allows for hands-free play on various surfaces, including walls, floors, and countertops. It's also harness-compatible, perfect for couples.

Soft and flexible material

Made of soft and flexible material, this dildo can be bent at any angle for various ways to play. A reviewer noted, "It's soft with a rock tip, it stands on its own with a nice slight grip end." This ensures a satisfying and comfortable experience, whether you're exploring your G-spot or enjoying a shower session.

Performance Soft Realistic Packing Dildo, 5' Length 1.25' Width, Creates Natural Masculine Bulge, Comfortable for All Day Wear Packer Underwear Compatible, Trans FTM Adult Product

Designed with comfort in mind

This 5-inch long and 1.25-inch wide packing dildo is perfect for creating a natural, masculine bulge. It’s comfortable enough for all-day wear, especially with packer underwear. "It was the most pleasant experience, leaving me feeling amazing after," one user shared.

Perfect for everyday use

Made from body-safe materials, this packer ensures no unpleasant surprises. "No odor or anything," another user noted. Its compact size makes it easy to clean with warm water and mild soap.

A discreet choice

Delivered in plain, unmarked packaging, it maintains your privacy. "Your business is a secret between you and Healthy Vibes," the brand promises. This product is ideal for anyone wanting a comfortable and private packing experience.

Monster Dildo Dragon Double Silicone Fantasy Dildo, 9 Inch Suction Soft Massive Dildo for Men, Realistic Vibrating Wide Dildos for Women, Fake Prostate G Spot Curved Penis

Versatile fun with multiple control options

This 9-inch Monster Dildo packs a punch with 10 vibration settings. You can control it through a button, remote, or the Wildolo APP. One reviewer praised its versatility, saying, "I love the Wildolo APP option - it's both fun and interactive."

Perfect for adventurous users

With a strong suction cup for hands-free play, this dildo provides stability and control. "The dual ends provide a unique twist to the usual single-ended designs," a user said. The toy’s substantial heft adds to the experience, making every encounter an adventure.

Discreet and high-quality

Packaged discreetly, this dildo ensures privacy. "The packaging was impressively discreet - no worries about nosy neighbors!" a user noted. Made from high-quality silicone, it's easy to clean and provides a luxurious feel.

Slim Beginner Dildo - Small Dildo with Vein Texture Perfect for First-Time Users - Free-Standing Base - Experiment with Anal Play - TPR, Latex and Phthalate Free - Pink - 5.5' x 1'

Perfect for first-time exploration

The Healthy Vibes Slim Beginner Dildo measures 5.5 inches in length and 1 inch in width, making it ideal for beginners. "It was the perfect size for a beginner," one reviewer shared. Its firm yet flexible design ensures comfort during penetration.

Easy to use and maintain

Made from body-safe TPR, this dildo is latex and phthalate-free. "It was really easy to clean, a little soap and water and it was clean," another user noted. The free-standing base allows for versatile play without needing a suction surface.

A great introduction to pleasure

This pink dildo is designed for both men and women, making it a versatile addition to any collection. "My first dildo and it was the perfect size for a beginner," a reviewer mentioned. Delivered in discreet packaging, it ensures your privacy.

Tentacle Dildo Fantasy Dildo Knot Dildo, 9.6' Monster Dildo with Big Knot, Anal Plug Adult Sex Toy for G-Spot Stimulation Anal Dildo for Hands-Free Play, Dragon Dildo Sex Toys for Men Women Anal Toy

Unique design for unique pleasure

This 9.6-inch Tentacle Dildo features a big knot and spiral design, perfect for those seeking a unique experience. "It’s so pretty, so big, & just perfect," one user exclaimed. The multiple contact points provide an unprecedented massage experience.

Suitable for all genders

Crafted from high-quality, body-safe silicone, this toy is durable and luxurious. "Big ass toy, works absolutely great," another user noted. It’s suitable for men, women, and couples looking to explore new sensations.

Discreet and easy to use

With a strong suction cup base, this dildo offers hands-free pleasure on any smooth surface. "The grip it has on the bottom, and the texture of it all, I just love everything about this," a user shared. Delivered in discreet packaging, it ensures your privacy.

Elstile 5 Inch Small Jelly Dildo with Strong Suction Cup - Beginner Sex Toy for Women, Men, and Gay Adults

Ideal for beginners

The Elstile 5 Inch Small Jelly Dildo is perfect for those new to sex toys. "Perfect size, holds lube really well," one reviewer noted. Its soft and flexible jelly material ensures a comfortable experience.

Versatile and easy to clean

With a strong suction cup, this dildo allows for hands-free fun on any smooth surface. "It's easy to clean, a little soap and water and it's clean," another user mentioned. Suitable for solo or partnered play, it's a versatile addition to any collection.

Comfortable and discreet

Delivered in plain, unmarked packaging, it maintains your privacy. "Your business is a secret between you and Healthy Vibes," the brand promises. This dildo is perfect for anyone wanting a comfortable and private experience. "It enhanced our sexual intimacy and brought a new level of excitement to our gay relationship", Zedda added.

Huge Horse Dildo, Thick Monster Silicone Dildo with Suction Cup, 10 Inch Fat Fantasy Soft Animal Dildo for Men, Big Realistic Dildos for Women, Girthy Fake Penis

Ridges are really fun

The Huge Horse Dildo is more than just a toy—it's an experience. Kathleen from the United States shared her delight, saying, "The ridges were actually really nice!" With a length of 10.23 inches and a maximum diameter of 2.67 inches, this big boy is not for the faint-hearted. Lee Sanders found it a slight challenge but worth the effort, noting, "The ridge about halfway down is a challenge that pays off in rewards once conquered."

Perfect grip for fun

This monster dildo is made of high-quality silicone, ensuring it's latex-free and phthalate-free. The powerful suction cup allows for hands-free play, making it compatible with harnesses. Brian found it super big and long, giving a "swollen and bloated feeling" that led to good orgasms. Pizza pizzakdkeekekeke was genuinely surprised by its quality, saying, "It hit all the right spots and left me wanting more."

Discreet packaging

Discretion is key, and this toy arrives in packaging that gives nothing away. Zachary Cuellar couldn't get enough of this "HUGE toy," praising its strong suction and stretchy, bendy nature. Robfly3d added, "Stop thinking about it and BUY IT!" Perfect grip and realistic design make this a must-have addition to any collection.

Blush Novelties Luxe Cici - 6 Inch Puria Platinum Silicone G Spot Stimulating Dildo - Soft Satin Smooth UltraSilk - Harness Compatible Dildo - Sex Toy for Women Men Couples - Pink

Very discreet packaging

The Blush Novelties Luxe Cici is designed for pleasure with every curve and feature thoughtfully crafted. Kian Z. appreciated the discreet packaging, saying, "Even if you accidentally open the box in front of someone, they won't immediately know what it is." This 5.75-inch dildo is perfect for G-spot stimulation and harness-compatible for versatile use.

High quality and smooth

Kimberly found it to be of high quality, noting its nice curve and smooth texture. A reviewer named "A" emphasized the importance of careful use, especially for beginners, as it's firmer than most realistic dildos. Heather Hamon praised the flared base for its compatibility with straps, although she found it a bit too small for her pleasure.

Perfect for consistent use

Glockgirl13 has had this toy for over 10 years and still considers it a favorite. "It’s the perfect density between firm and soft," they said, highlighting its consistent performance. Bunny loved the shape and size, although they found it hard to hold onto due to the narrow base. Overall, this toy is a fantastic choice for anyone looking to add some excitement to their sex life.

B Yours Morning Dew, 5 Inch Length 1.25 Inches Width Realistic Feel Dildo, Sturdy Suction Cup Base and Harness Compatible, Gradient Design, Perfect for Beginners, Sex Toy for Him Her

Remarkably life-like feel

The B Yours Morning Dew is a perfect beginner's dildo with a realistic feel that’s "not too soft, not too firm," making it just right. Its sturdy suction cup base firmly anchors to most smooth, flat surfaces, allowing for hands-free play. The gradient color adds a fun element to your playtime, making it visually appealing as well.

Perfectly sized for beginners

This 5.5-inch toy is designed with beginners in mind. Although it has a 2.9-star rating from only five reviews, the few who have tried it appreciated its thoughtful design. One user mentioned, "It’s amazing for beginners, but be careful." The toy is also harness-compatible, adding versatility to its use.

Safe and easy to clean

Made from PVC, this toy is easy to clean with soap and water, ensuring peace of mind for users. It’s recommended to use silicone, water-based, or hybrid lube for the best experience. Despite its low rating, the B Yours Morning Dew is a decent choice for those new to the world of sex toys.

Colours Pleasures Silicone Dong Dildo, Pink, 5 Inch

Good suction and size

The Colours Pleasures Silicone Dong Dildo offers a fun and vibrant experience with its striking pink color. Maggie Adkins loved its good suction and size, saying it was a great buy, especially for long-distance relationships. This 5-inch dildo is made from medical-grade, body-safe silicone, ensuring a comfortable and safe experience.

Silky soft to the touch

Ciel & Soleil praised the quality of the material, noting it’s "firm yet silky soft to the touch with just the right amount of give." The suction cup works well on smooth surfaces and holds firm in a harness. N. M. found the dildo softer than expected but was a bit disappointed in the size, although they appreciated its strong suction.

Realistic and satisfying

Chey loved the bright color and realistic detail, saying it looks like an uncut penis and has a spectacular suction. Heather Hamon found it "soft and firm at once," making it a good choice for beginners. This dildo is easy to clean and maintains its quality over time, making it a reliable addition to any collection.

Doc Johnson The Realistic Cock with Removable Suction Cup - 6 Inch - F-Machine and Harness Compatible Dildo - Caramel

Just the right size

The Doc Johnson Realistic Cock is incredibly lifelike and designed to fit any Vac-U-Lock accessory or harness. Scooter Trash found it to be "just the right size" and said it feels like the real thing. Measuring 6.5 inches of insertable length and a maximum width of 1.7 inches, it offers a satisfying experience.

Great for FTM

Another reviewer mentioned its realism, saying, "This is as realistic as it gets!" The detail and feel are comparable to the real thing, making it a great choice for various uses. Quiggie Boh found it a bit floppy but still useful when paired with other toys for additional stimulation. The suction cup allows for versatile play, whether in the shower or elsewhere.

Compatible with F machines

This dildo is compatible with KINK Power Banger and other F machines that utilize the Vac-U-Lock design. Despite some users noting a strong chemical smell, the overall experience remains positive. It’s a versatile and reliable option for those looking for a realistic and durable toy.

Pink Diamond Double Magic Ball Dildo, Pink

I'm getting in shape

Gwen loves this Pink Diamond Double Magic Ball Dildo. She says it's "soooo great once you get the hang of it," but suggests using a condom for comfort. The inflatable ball and waterproof design make it versatile for different users, from beginners to advanced.

Funny but not functional

Cindy Wilson finds it amusing but not very practical. She noticed the exterior parts are too far apart, making it uncomfortable for the average woman. "It's funny, though!" she adds. The handles' odd placement is another drawback.

Better than a bouncy castle

Zee had fun with it, despite the odd handles. The dildo's shape and inflatable feature are a hit, though it might not be the most realistic feeling. This toy is more about the experience than perfection, so if you're in it for the fun, this could be your pick.

2.7'' Wide Extra Large Dildo,13 inch Silicone Huge Thick Dildo with Realistic Veins & Big Firm Balls for Anal Play

My GF LOVES this thing

StretchyTaint's girlfriend can't handle the size but gets hot just touching it. This monster dildo is 13.5 inches long, with a 10.8-inch insertable length. It's made for those who crave intense stimulation, and the lifelike veins and big balls add to the realism.

Big

Floyd Dangerfield sums it up: "this is bigg." If you're looking for a dildo that fills you up and provides a realistic experience, this one's for you. The dual-density silicone makes it soft yet firm, perfect for those who want to explore extreme pleasure.

Better than a bouncy castle

Unlike the Pink Diamond Double Magic Ball Dildo, this one is more about size and realism. It's designed for intense games and users who want to push their limits. If you're looking to take your sex life to the next level, this might be your go-to.

Silicone Anal Dildo Sex Toys 3 Sizes Set

Comfortable fit and easy to use!

Daniel finds this set comfortable and effective. The three sizes cater to beginners and experienced users. The curved shape targets all pleasure points, making it a versatile addition to any collection. The translucent purple hue adds a touch of elegance.

Worst toy I have tried soo far

Jeremy Walker had a bad experience. He felt the toy was uncomfortable and not worth the money. However, Buster and Ms. Red X disagree, praising its quality and flexibility.

Really great

Mikal loves it for anal training. The different sizes and soft silicone make it perfect for anyone looking to explore new dimensions of pleasure. The set is also easy to clean and waterproof, making it a practical choice for various types of play.

Squirting Monster Dildo - Erotic Ghost-Morgon

Feels Incredible, Came with Super Cute Stuff

Perish can't get enough of this toy. She used it multiple times the first night and loves the texture, which is gentle and smooth. The suction cup is strong, and the squirting feature adds an exciting twist. The packaging includes cute extras like stickers and a keychain.

Great!!

Iris is impressed with the quality and design. The long tube and 30ml syringe make the squirting feature realistic and fun. Lindsey agrees, saying it feels real and the suction is amazing. The ridges and curves of this dildo make it a favorite for many users.

Wonderful and exciting!

Blackkat loves it for its flexibility and smoothness. The small size is comparable to a soda can, making it perfect for those new to monster dildos. The built-in suction cup is strong, and the easy-to-clean design adds to its appeal.

Evolved Love Is Back - Real Supple Silicone

Realistic dildo

This 6-inch dildo by Blush Novelties is sculpted to look and feel like a real penis. Made with Sensa Feel Dual Density Technology, it offers a soft outer layer and a firm inner core. It's versatile, with a suction cup base that sticks to almost any flat surface and is strap-on compatible.

Experience #3

Users have noted that the light skin-colored options are out of stock. Some have experienced paint chipping on the colored versions, but the product's overall feel and performance remain highly rated.

Because of Covid-19

Due to the pandemic, restocking has been delayed. The economic uncertainty has affected supply, but the demand for this realistic dildo remains high. Its therapeutic benefits for conditions like vaginismus make it a valuable addition to any collection.

Blush Novelties Performance - 5' Mocha Prosthetic Flesh Flaccid Shaft and Balls

Extends your pleasure and adds girth

Looking for that extra boost? The Blush Novelties Performance 5' Mocha Prosthetic Flesh delivers with an extension of 2 inches and a thickening diameter of up to 2.5 inches. It’s perfect for those who want to feel a bit more substantial without going overboard. One user mentioned, "I wanna feel more full to be fairly honest," and this product fits the bill.

Comfort for all-day wear

Designed with ultra-soft X5 Plus TPE, this dildo ensures comfort for extended periods. It’s also safe for your body, meeting Prop65 & REACH product safety requirements. A reviewer shared, “The industry is way off base. This should not be so frustrating.” The Performance 5' Mocha aims to change that narrative with its thoughtful design.

Secure fit and versatile use

This dildo stays put thanks to its strap that secures around your balls, giving them a nice stretch. It’s also ribbed to intensify sensations for the wearer. Jennpenny even said, “a suction cup seems like a fun bonus,” adding another layer of versatility.

Blush Novelties B Yours Plus Hard n' Happy 5Dildo, Strong Suction Cup & Harness Compatible, Realistic Feel, Transparent Tapered Head for Adults Men Women, Teal

Realistic feel you can see

The Blush Novelties B Yours Plus Hard n' Happy 5Dildo offers a transparent, realistic feel that fuels your fantasies. One user highlighted, "Experience wave after wave of pleasure through you as it glides in." Its ridges, ripples, and veins make every thrust memorable.

Strong base for secure play

Equipped with a strong suction cup, this dildo can anchor securely on smooth, flat surfaces. Jennpenny mentions, “a suction cup seems like a fun bonus,” making it versatile for hands-free fun. FUKENA_DOT_COM confirms that dildos with suction cups like this one add an element of convenience.

Perfect for beginners

With a length of 5.5 inches and a width of 1.25 inches, this dildo is perfect for those just starting. One user said, “I’d start with 5 inches but fairly thick.” This product strikes that balance, making it an excellent first step for newcomers.

Lovehoney Double Up Strap On Dildo Kit - 5 Inch Pink Dildo - 4 Inch Black Dildo for Bullet Vibrator Included

Dual delight for shared fun

The Lovehoney Double Up Strap On Dildo Kit offers a unique experience with its vibrating, strapless design, making it ideal for couples. One reviewer shared, "LOVE my Neo Elite! I got mine from SheVibe." This kit brings that same versatility.

Smaller end for internal massage

The shorter, 4.5-inch end is designed to massage the wearer's G-spot, adding an extra layer of pleasure. Another user mentioned, "May buy small Reservo in 00-50. One of them surely will be perfect." This kit aims to be that perfect fit.

Waterproof for aquatic adventures

This strap-on is 100% waterproof, making it great for bathroom fun. Enjoy its 90-minute run time in the shower or bath. One reviewer noted, "a mini Austin which makes an amazing butt plug," highlighting its versatility.

Blush Novelties Avant P3-5.5' Silicone Dildo Exclusive Pride LGBTQ+

Artisanal craft and vibrant colors

The Blush Novelties Avant P3-5.5' Silicone Dildo is a lovingly crafted, small-batch artisanal dildo. Its vibrant colors and unique design make it a standout. One user said, "I just love this dildo! It's incredibly soft and is just the right size for me!" making it a popular choice for those who appreciate both form and function.

Perfect size for beginners

With a length of 5.5 inches and a width of 1.25 inches, this dildo is not too big and not too small, but just right. One reviewer noted, "It's short and skinny but the texture is smooth and very fun." This makes it ideal for beginners.

Versatile and high-quality

The suction cup base sticks to almost any smooth, flat surface, and it’s harness compatible. Made from pure platinum-cured Purio silicone, it’s both luxurious and safe. Sydney said, "I'm pretty sure I bought the last one for sale but if it comes back, I highly recommend it!" Its quality and design make it a must-have.

Strap U Slim Strap-On Harness Dildo, Black

Compact and beginner-friendly

The Strap U Slim Strap-On Harness Dildo is perfect for those new to strap-on play. Its compact size of 4.5 inches by 1 inch makes it less intimidating. One user shared, "Great for beginners that are looking for something really small to start."

Smooth and flexible for easy use

Made from smooth and flexible PVC, this dildo is designed for comfort and ease of use. Laura mentioned, "Very smooth and flexible, and just the right size for someone relatively new to anal play." It’s a go-to for quick and pleasurable experiences.

Ideal for compact play

Designed for harness play, this dildo allows for hands-free penetration that lasts. Vetts&Stangs said, "This is excellent for beginners, guys and girls alike will enjoy this." Its size and design make it a versatile addition to any collection.

Conclusion

Finding the perfect first dildo doesn't have to be overwhelming. The Reproduction 4.92 Inch Realistic Small Dildo offers a realistic feel with a strong suction cup for hands-free play. For those wanting a bit more flexibility, the Lovehoney Lifelike Lover Realistic Dildo provides a bendable shaft and harness compatibility. If easy maintenance is important, the Blush Novelties Dr. Skin Plus is a triple-density option that's easy to clean. Finally, the Beginner Real Slim 5 Inch Dildo is a versatile choice with a realistic veiny texture. Whatever your preference, there's a perfect beginner dildo out there for you. Dive into your new adventure with confidence and excitement!

Metrosexual Man: How it is different from a homosexual man

Metrosexual Man: How it is different from a homosexual man

Defining Metrosexual

It is a term that appeared in the early 2000s, and since then, people have been trying to create a definition that best describes this sort of man. So, who or what is metrosexual? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a metrosexual is “a usually urban heterosexual male given to enhancing his personal appearance by fastidious grooming, beauty treatments, and fashionable clothes.” 

 

Actually, the term was coined back in 1994 by Mark Simpson in his article published in The Independent. Since then, the definition has changed a bit. Nevertheless, it revolves around a male who really likes to indulge and take care of himself.

 

In the early 2000s, David Beckham was practically a face of a metrosexual man: perfect hair, great outfit, really well-groomed. During that time, the term was often used to offend a man who paid a lot of attention to what he looked like. Nowadays, it is something that is widely accepted.

Is Metrosexual Part of the LGBTQ Community?

This question is often heard when someone declares themselves as a metrosexual. And that is okay because not everyone is familiar with this term, and when they hear the “sexual” part in a word, they assume that has something to do with sexual preference. People often think that when someone likes to do their nails done and pluck their eyebrows, wear hair gel, etc., well, they have to be gay, or at least bisexual.

But, that is not the case because metrosexuals can be gay, bisexual, or straight. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation. It is 2021. Men don’t have to be burly to be straight.

 

Actually, there are some studies that show that women are more attracted to men who take good care of themselves. And why wouldn’t they rather be with someone who smells really nice, dresses as well as they do, and doesn’t have anything under his nails?

 

Essential Distinctions 

The main distinction is that being metrosexual doesn’t have anything to do with one’s sexuality. So, what is the connection between metrosexuals and LGBTQ?

 

Metrosexual can be gay, straight, or bisexual. Gay people can be metrosexual, work on a farm, play rugby, fix things around the house — you get the point. They don’t have to be your “typical” gay person straight from the J.Crew catalog. Gay men aren’t automatically metrosexual just because of their sexual preference.

 

There is a huge misconception that has been around for a long time that people started to use usually as an insult, that is, that a metrosexual is a straight guy with “gay” characteristics. That statement has deeper issues, namely that people use it to offend a straight male but also show their homophobia with one sentence. Thankfully, it is the 21st century, so most of this toxic behavior is now gone. 

 

Don’t mix apples and oranges: one is gender, and the other is sexuality. So, the difference between Metrosexual and Homosexual:

 

  • A Homosexual is a person who is sexually attracted to the same gender. 
  • Metrosexual is a male concerned with personal appearance and social status, is urban, and in touch with his feminine side.

Is It Okay for a Straight Man to Become Metrosexual?

Of course, why wouldn’t it be? As we already said many times in this article, being metrosexual doesn’t make you gay and vice versa. This trend makes lines between gay and straight people a little blurry. Straight men are rejecting stereotypical and traditional male roles in favor of doing and behaving the way they want, even if those things are considered to be “unmanly.” And if that behavior means putting more effort into their looks, so be it. 

 

Not everything is black and white anymore. Even though back then, primping and spending a lot of time in front of the mirror was considered feminine, straight males are pushing against it. Yes, they care if they look good in jeans, and yes, they are “a real man” as much as those guys who haven’t bought a normal (fitted) pair of jeans for a decade. Whatever the term “real men” means today.

Community’s Review

LGBTQ community is more than happy to accept anyone who is true to themselves and shows their true colors. Because if anyone knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, it’s them. 

 

The straight male community (if we can call them that) is not always as open. The reason behind it is mostly ignorance and fear of change. Gender roles were defined a long time ago, and nowadays, when people are stepping from the stereotype, it is not always accepted right away. However, times are changing, and so are traditional males.

 

And last but not least — the straight female community. Just like males, this one is evolving but is more open to change. Women like men who put effort into their looks, so it’s no wonder they are willing to accept metrosexuals and are more likely to be attracted to them.

Words of Affirmation

The general take is that saying “men don’t care about appearances” is completely outdated nowadays, which is a good thing.

 

For so long, men were forced to be a certain kind of male.  They shouldn’t care about their looks, “men’s natural musk is the best scent” (no, it’s not), underwear bought 5-for-1 a decade ago (bonus points if their mom or wife bought it), etc. But, modern men say enough is enough. It doesn’t make me less of a man if I want to look my best. And that is true. Do you consider Brad Pitt or George Clooney less of a man? We didn’t think so.

 

Along with females today, they are breaking gender roles, making them a bit intertwined. Define who you are without the weight of the world and stick to that person because that is who you’re meant to be (with or without a perfume).

Sexual Health For Gay and Bisexual Men

Sexual Health For Gay and Bisexual Men

Having unprotected penetrative sex is the most likely way to pass on a sexually transmitted infection (STI).

Using a condom helps protect against HIV and lowers the risk of getting many other STIs.

A survey of gay and bisexual men by Stonewall revealed that 1 in 3 men had never had an HIV test, and 1 in 4 had never been tested for any STI.

Men who have sex with men (MSM) should have a check-up at least every 6 months at a sexual health or genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinic. This is important, as some STIs do not cause any symptoms.

Hepatitis A

Hepatitis A is a liver infection that's spread by a virus in poo.

The infection is usually spread in contaminated food or drink, or by poor hand-washing. However you can also get hepatitis A through sex, including oral-anal sex ("rimming") and giving oral sex after anal sex. MSM with multiple partners are particularly at risk.

Symptoms of hepatitis A can appear up to 8 weeks after sex and include tiredness and feeling sick (nausea).

Hepatitis A is not usually life-threatening and most people make a full recovery within a couple of months.

MSM can avoid getting hepatitis A by:

  • washing hands after sex (bottom, groin and penis too by taking a shower, if you can)
  • changing condoms between anal and oral sex
  • using a barrier (such as a condom cut into a square) for rimming
  • using latex or non-latex gloves for fingering or fisting
  • not sharing sex toys
  • asking about the hepatitis A vaccine at a sexual health or GUM clinic

If you think you might have hepatitis A, or have any questions, visit a sexual health or GUM clinic. The hepatitis A vaccine is available for people travelling to countries where the disease is common.

Hepatitis B

Hepatitis B is a viral infection that causes inflammation of the liver. It does not usually cause obvious symptoms and may pass in a few months without treatment. However in some cases the infection can persist and cause serious liver disease, including cirrhosis and liver cancer.

Hepatitis B is spread through contact with the blood or body fluids of an infected person. MSM are at risk of hepatitis B but they can be protected by the hepatitis B vaccination.

Vaccination for MSM is available from sexual health clinics, genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinics or from GPs.

Hepatitis C

Hepatitis C is a viral infection that causes inflammation of the liver. It often does not cause any obvious symptoms at first, but it can lead to serious liver disease if left untreated.

It is spread through contact with the blood of an infected person. Men who are concerned they are at risk should consult their doctor or sexual health clinic.

Hepatitis C can be treated and is curable in many cases. Find your local hepatitis C support service.

Gonorrhoea

This bacterial infection causes stinging when you pee, or the feeling that you want to pee but are unable to. It's passed on through anal, oral or vaginal sex with an infected person.

Gonorrhoea is treated with antibiotics.

Non-specific urethritis (NSU)

This is inflammation of the urethra (the tube that carries urine from the bladder out of the body) caused by bacteria. It is also called non-gonococcal urethritis (NGU) when the condition is not caused by gonorrhoea.

NSU is passed on in the same way as gonorrhoea and often has similar symptoms. It can also be caused by having lots of sex or masturbating a lot, which can make the urethra inflamed.

It can be treated with antibiotics.

Chlamydia

This is a bacterial infection of the urethra or bottom (rectum). It can also affect the throat, but this is less common. Chlamydia may cause a discharge, pain when you pee, or pain in the testicles. However, not everyone has symptoms.

It can be passed on during sex with an infected person in the same way as gonorrhoea. It's treated with antibiotics.

Shigella

This is a bacterial infection of the intestine that causes severe diarrhoea and stomach cramps. It is often mistaken for food poisoning.

It can be passed on during sex, including anal-oral sex ("rimming") and giving oral sex after anal sex. It is spread very easily – all it takes is a tiny amount of infected poo getting into your mouth.

A person with shigella can be infectious for up to a month. It can be treated with antibiotics. Men who suspect they have shigella should visit a sexual health clinic or their GP to get tested.

Men can avoid getting shigella by washing their hands after sex (bottom, groin and penis too by taking a shower, if you can), and changing condoms between anal and oral sex.

Using latex or non-latex gloves for fingering or fisting offers protection. And do not share sex toys or douching equipment.

Genital herpes

Genital herpes is a viral infection. Symptoms can include painful blisters and ulcers on or around the penis or bottom (anus), although some men have no symptoms.

The virus stays in the body and can cause outbreaks of blisters.

Genital herpes can be passed on through oral sex with someone who has a cold sore around or in their mouth, or by skin-to-skin genital contact with someone who has genital herpes.

Antiviral tablets and creams from a GP or sexual health clinic can help the symptoms.

Syphilis

Syphilis is a bacterial infection that causes a painless ulcer, usually in the genital area. The ulcer will disappear on its own but other symptoms may appear, such as a rash on the body and swollen glands.

In its early stages, syphilis is very infectious and can be passed on by close skin contact during sex. If you do not treat it, the infection can eventually spread to the brain or other parts of the body and cause serious, long-term problems.

Treatment is with antibiotic injections or tablets.

Genital warts

This is a common viral infection caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV). It appears a few weeks or months after sex with an infected person. It can cause pinhead-size growths, mostly on or around the head of the penis but also in and around the bottom (anus).

The sooner warts are treated, the easier they are to manage. You cannot treat genital warts with the same type of cream you use for warts on other parts of your body. A doctor will freeze them or prescribe a cream to remove them.

You can reduce your risk of getting genital warts by getting the HPV vaccine.

MSM up to and including the age of 45 become eligible for free HPV vaccination on the NHS when they visit a sexual health or HIV clinic in England.

Pubic lice

Public lice (also known as "crabs") are small, parasitic insects that live in body hair.

They are very small (only 2mm), so they can be difficult to see, although their tiny dark eggs can be seen stuck to hair.

Pubic lice prefer the pubic hair around your testicles and bottom but may also be found in body hair. They are not found on your scalp.

The lice are spread through close bodily contact with an infected person. They can also be spread by sharing clothes, towels or bedding, but this is rare. Symptoms include itching or a rash.

Treatment can be done at home with lotions or creams bought from a pharmacy (no prescription is needed).

Scabies

This is an infection caused by tiny mites that burrow under the skin. It causes intense itching for most people (though some hardly notice it).

Itching usually starts 2 or more weeks after sex with an infected person. You can also get scabies from sharing beds and towels, but this is less common.

Treatment is similar to treating pubic lice, although you may continue to itch for a few weeks after the mites have been removed.

Get tested

If you have any of the symptoms above or are worried you may have an STI, speak to your GP or visit a sexual health or GUM clinic.

Getting tested regularly is a good way to ensure you have a healthy sex life. NHS services are free.

The Gay Man’s Good Sex Guide

The Gay Man’s Good Sex Guide

I’m scared of bottoming

Most gay men will consider bottoming at some time. However, the thought of doing it for the first time can be scary. Don’t let that put you off.

You may prefer to douche before bottoming, especially if indulging in deep arse play like fisting or with large dicks/toys. Use plain, clean water, preferably at body temperature. Avoid using shower attachments - the water pressure can be dangerous. You can get douche bulbs online or from any good sex shop. Try not to go overboard and irritate the lining of your arse, as this can make you more vulnerable to STIs.

Get yourself relaxed with lots of foreplay like rimming or fingering. Some men do use amyl nitrate (poppers) to relax the muscles around their arse but there are two major health warnings. Poppers:

  • have been linked with an increased risk of HIV transmission
  • don’t mix with erection drugs like Viagra and may cause a heart attack.

Deep breathing is far safer, helps you to relax and relaxes the arse too.

Find a position that suits the size, angle and curvature of your partner’s dick. Any position where your knees are bent and drawn into your chest, whether you are kneeling, lying on your back or on your side, will probably lead to more comfortable sex, or will be a good position to start from.

There’s no such thing as too much lube. It just makes everything more slippery, which isn’t a bad thing. Use water- or silicone-based lubricants if you're using latex condoms. Avoid any lube with nonoxynol-9. It irritates the lining of the arse, may make sex more painful and also increases your risk of HIV.

Look after your arse. You can't get a new one. So know your limits. With time you may be able to take larger objects but there's always a maximum size: about 4-5 inches diameter (the width of your pelvic opening).

How can I be a great top?

Take your time and listen to your partner. This is as much about the emotional as the physical side. If he’s nervous, he might want reassuring that you’re not going to hurt him and that he’s in control.

Find out what he likes. For some guys, topping is about being dominant (and some bottoms like that), but for others, it’s a two-way street. Ask him how he likes it. Listen to his reactions too. If he’s making noises that suggest he's in pain, ease up a bit.

The first time you top, you may be a little anxious. This may make your erection less hard than usual. Relax – you're both there to enjoy yourselves. If you have erection problems, concentrate on something else like kissing for a while. (If getting or staying hard is a regular problem, see our section on ED on page 6.)

Our advice above on lubes and position apply as much to tops as to bottoms. Lube is essential when topping. If you have a bigger than average cock, any position where the cheeks of his arse can provide a buffer to your length (like him lying face down) will be a good bet until he’s used to it.

Remember: It’s not only bottoms at risk of HIV. Tops are at risk too, although it’s statistically less likely. Anal mucus can carry high concentrations of HIV, and the membrane just inside the tip of your cock and the foreskin can absorb that directly into the bloodstream if you fuck a guy's arse without a condom. You know the solution. Rubber up.

What is the Male G-Spot?

Some gay men call the prostate the ‘male G-spot’ as it is responsible for a lot of the pleasure you feel when getting fucked. Substances like steroids can also cause the prostate to enlarge. But there’s no evidence gay men are more or less likely to get prostate problems than straight men.

I'm going cruising

Don't put sex before safety. Trust your instinct about where and what isn't safe. Carry condoms and lube. (If bottoming, you might want to put the condom on the top yourself.)

Don't flash cash and make sure you know where the exits are.

What about HIV?

Men who have sex with men account for over half of HIV diagnoses in the UK.

It’s possible to have HIV without knowing it. Most men experience some symptoms around two to six weeks after infection (such as a sore throat, fever, body aches or rash). These symptoms are common to other illnesses and many people do not realise they could be a sign of HIV infection.

It’s estimated that 16% of HIV-positive gay men don’t know they have the virus.

If left untreated, HIV attacks the body’s immune system, leaving it vulnerable to infections we would normally fight off. There is no cure but, if you are diagnosed with HIV and treated, you should have a normal life expectancy.

HIV lives in the blood and in some body fluids. To get HIV, one of these fluids from someone with HIV has to get into your blood:

  • cum and precum
  • anal mucus (found inside your arse)
  • blood.

Sex without condoms is the most likely way for gay men to become infected with HIV.

HIV can also be found in vaginal fluids, including menstrual blood, and breast milk.

You can’t get HIV from:

  • kissing
  • spitting
  • being bitten
  • contact with unbroken, healthy skin
  • being sneezed on
  • sharing baths, towels or cutlery
  • using the same toilets and swimming pools
  • mouth-to-mouth resuscitation
  • animals or insects like mosquitoes.

The more HIV someone has in their bodily fluids, the more infectious they are, and the more likely they are to have serious health problems. HIV treatment lowers the levels of HIV in the body and can make the carrier less infectious, but it won’t get rid of the virus completely.

Men who have sex with men should get tested roughly every six months for HIV. You can get tested at any sexual health clinic. A lot of places do one-hour testing or even quicker. It just involves a finger prick, so no worries about needles. You can also get home testing kits by post.

If you think you’ve been exposed to HIV, go to your local sexual health clinic or A&E as soon as possible, preferably within 48 hours. They will be able to prescribe you with a 28-day course of anti-HIV medication called post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP), which may prevent you from becoming infected with HIV.

HIV isn’t a death sentence, and many people with HIV live long and healthy lives with the right care. But that doesn’t mean it’s trivial. GMFA provides information and advice for gay men living with HIV on their website.

What is hepatitis?

Like HIV, the only signs of hepatitis — a blood-borne liver disease — may be a short flu-like illness. There are three sexually-transmitted forms of hepatitis (hep): A, B and C.

There are vaccines for Hep A and B. These will usually clear up on their own (although you should seek advice just in case yours doesn’t).

Less common but potentially more serious is Hep C. There is no vaccine and it won’t clear up on its own.

All of these activities can transmit hepatitis:

  • unprotected sex
  • rimming
  • fingering
  • sharing toys
  • fisting
  • group sex
  • sex without condoms
  • sharing needles or drug straws.
New Trends in Gay Male Relationships

New Trends in Gay Male Relationships

What are the relationships of young gay men like today? It can be surprisingly difficult to answer this question with confidence. Little research is being done on gay male couples—how they build and sustain their relationships, what they think about monogamy and marriage, what they believe about the attitudes of their peers.

We did a self-funded study in 2010 called Beyond Monogamy. We wanted to know more about the experiences of long-term non-monogamous male couples. Because we were examining long-term relationships, we had, by definition, an older cohort participate in the study. But we’d been hearing that younger gay men had some different perspectives. This year, we completed our study, which focused on gay men ages 18-40 and explored attitudes and practices about monogamy and marriage.

We discovered a lot of interesting things. Younger gay men do value monogamy more than their older counterparts. They also believe in marriage. Some are applying a practice we call “being monogamish”—not exactly monogamous, but not wide open. Virtually all of our respondents believe that communicating with partners about their sexual lives is a vital part of having a successful relationship.

Our study also affirmed the wonderful and creative diversity found in male couples. I think this is useful information for anyone working with gay men, and for young gay men themselves. These men have found many ways to build strong, healthy and loving relationships—strategies we believe would be useful for all populations.

Monogamy and Marriage Are Very Popular

Even though we had heard anecdotally that younger men were interested in monogamy, we were surprised at how widespread this was. Eighty-six percent of couples described their relationships as monogamous—compared with 30-50% of couples among older generations. Among single respondents in our survey, 90% were actively seeking monogamous relationships.

We also heard that marriage is definitely becoming the norm. Among couples, 77% were either married, in domestic partnerships or planning to marry. Among single men, 92% expected to marry. Among all respondents, 62% said most of their couple friends are married or likely to marry.

Marriage was just as common among non-monogamous couples as monogamous.

Monogamy is a Conscious and Deliberate Choice

Before we looked at our survey results, we had some notion that monogamy had become a sort of “default” choice for a lot of younger gay men. We thought perhaps this was a consequence of assimilation—being more integrated into the general population fueled a tendency to mimic traditional heterosexual models, including the expectation that couples would be monogamous.

We found, though, that monogamous couples (76% of our respondents) were fully conscious about making that choice. There was nothing “default” about it. They were aware of other options and norms and were choosing to be monogamous. The men also brought considerable attention to strategies that would keep their relationship strong within a monogamous model.

These included the importance of communicating honestly and regularly about such things as acknowledging attractions, how to cope with temptations to stray, and keeping their sex lives together active and satisfying over time. This commitment to ongoing communication brought a lot of depth to these relationships.

Perceived benefits of being monogamous included that it encourages trust, security and closeness, that it “feels right,” and that it minimizes conflict and jealousy. A few respondents mentioned greater acceptance by family or greater respect from friends or the community at large.

The Monogamish Option

In the quantitative part of this survey (which we conducted first), a small but significant number of couples described themselves as monogamous even though they had occasional three-ways or sex with people outside the relationship. We were curious about this.

We conducted a second, qualitative survey in order to explore this. In this survey, we asked respondents to self-identify as (1) monogamous, (2) non-monogamous, or (3) monogamous but held “loosely”—monogamish. Gay columnist Dan Savage first coined the term “monogamish” (Savage calls it “mostly monogamous with a little squish around the edges”).

Among self-described monogamish individuals (18% of our respondents), 75% always “played together” as a couple when engaged with a third person, whether at a party, a bathhouse or home. Twenty-five percent mostly played together and very occasionally saw other partners separately. Once again, communication was frequently cited as an essential element of making the monogamish approach successful.

Respondents had a variety of reasons monogamish relationships worked for them. These included the opportunity to accommodate differences in sexual interests or libidos, and the chance to compensate for limitations related to health or disability. Many enjoyed the added fun and excitement it brought to their sex lives. Others liked the way it kept their relationships fresh.

Choosing Non-Monogamy

A smaller set of respondents (6%) identified as non-monogamous. More than half of these relationships started out as monogamous, then opened their relationships after some period of time. This was a trend we also saw in our earlier study of long-term non-monogamous couples. Half of those longer-term couples (average relationship length 20 years) started out monogamous and then opened their relationships later. On average, the longer-term couples began to consider themselves non-monogamous about seven years into the relationship.

Ways to approach non-monogamy are as varied as the couples themselves. Most follow norms and rules that develop over time. Common agreements include honesty, limited emotional involvement with others, and putting the primary relationship first (e.g., “Don’t cancel on me to do something more exciting with someone else”). Many also establish rules about safe sex.

Perceived advantages of non-monogamy included having a variety of partners, the chance to have new or different experiences and addressing differences in libido and sexual interests. Fifteen percent of these couples described their sex together as very limited or non-existent. However, they fully valued their home-life, felt very loving toward each other, and saw non-monogamy as a way to keep what was best about their relationship (love, companionship and creating a life together).

Data Busts Up Some Myths

There are some persistent myths gay men hear about their relationships. The first is that it is impossible for gay men to stay true to a monogamous commitment. The second is that non-monogamous relationships don’t last.

A lot of the data in our studies counters these myths. We found that both monogamous and non-monogamous couples can have enduring, healthy and happy relationships. We also found that it was the norm for long-term couples, both monogamous and non-monogamous, to have enduring, satisfying sex lives within their primary relationships.

We fully expected that non-monogamous couples would cite the need to actively choose their relationship style and communicate regularly about it. But we were surprised to hear monogamous couples use the same kind of language to describe their efforts: seeing monogamy as a choice, making sure both partners embrace the concept, avoiding assumptions and discussing often.

Both camps also complained equally about the lack of support they receive in the gay community for their choices. We think this comes back to the fact that gay men’s relationships are not “discussable.” People both inside and outside the community make assumptions about these relationships without having a lot of data or information about what’s actually going on.

There is tremendous interest in this kind of information about gay men’s relationships and a good deal of wisdom to be discovered from our respondents. Even now, six years after posting our original study, we get 200 hits a day at our website, and the report on that study is being downloaded 250 times a month.

Some Conclusions

Gay men’s relationships play a role in many different aspects of community health, including the transmission of HIV and other STDs. A number of our respondents mentioned feeling safer within a monogamous relationship because of this, but it was never the sole reason for making the choice.

They enjoyed the payoffs—“I don’t have to use condoms;” “I don’t need to take PrEP”—but they chose monogamy for other reasons. There is nothing in this study that would lead us to conclude that preaching monogamy would be an effective HIV prevention strategy.

We do think, however, that we have opportunities to provide more meaningful support to gay men’s relationships by doing the following:

  • Emphasize that it’s a conscious choice. Affirm that couples actively choose relationship styles. Help them recognize the value of communication and the importance of both partners being on the same page in terms of agreements and rules. We had a few respondents say, “Monogamy wouldn’t be my first choice, but having an open relationship was a show-stopper for my partner. So I chose monogamy.” Others said, “I told my new partner that I had learned from my first relationship that I couldn’t be in a monogamous relationship, and that I wanted a non-monogamous relationship where we were honest and open about our experiences.”
  • Provide support and skill-building for communication. This includes acknowledging attractions and feelings of jealousy. Expect that issues of self-esteem will emerge. Interestingly, feeling attracted to others, feeling jealous, and feeling insecure were as common in monogamous relationships as non-monogamous ones.
  • Expect communication to be iterative. Encourage couples to revisit choices and agreements periodically.

Every couple is unique. We are all fluid beings, and our relationships will change over time. If you’re working with gay men, we hope you’ll consider referring them to the study to learn more about the range of relationship experiences gay men are having and the creative approaches they are bringing to their relationships.

11 Types of Sexualities and Their Meanings

11 Types of Sexualities and Their Meanings

There's a wide array of sexual orientations that someone may identify with.

Sexual identity, or orientation, is the "gender that you are attracted to, or if you are interested in sex at all," Jamie LeClaire, a sexuality educator, writer, and consultant, told Business Insider.

In the United States, the LGBT population — and the mainstream acceptance of this community — is only growing. Gallup estimated that the percentage of Americans who identify as LGBT was 4.5% in 2017, while 8.1% of millennials self-identified as LGBT.

In June, the Supreme Court decided that antidiscrimination employment protections apply to those within the LGBT umbrella — meaning that your employer cannot discriminate against you for your sexual identity.

More recently, as NPR reports, Supreme Court Justices Thomas Alito and Clarence Thomas "issued a broadside against the high court's 2015 same-sex marriage decision," which caused worry among some members of the LGBT community.

This rising awareness, coupled with the reach of social media and ever-increasing visibility, has led to more mainstream recognition of different sexual identities outside of just "gay" or "straight." But even within those categories, there's a variety of different terms people identify with.

The historical concept of sexual identities is relatively new.

"The sexual identity in and of itself is a more recent phenomenon, so terms like heterosexual and homosexual came about in the late 1800s," Dr. Brandon Robinson, an assistant professor of gender and sexuality studies at the University of California, Riverside, told Business Insider. "Identity is a more recent notion of who we are."

There has also been pushback to the creation of sexual identity markers, Robinson noted. In particular, scholar Michel Foucault viewed the rise of identity markers as "a way for science to be like, 'heterosexuality is right,' and we're gonna label all these other sexual identities as well, as deviant sexualities."

Yet, sexual identity — and finding one to identify with — can also help build community and allow individuals to understand their own desires. Much of this community building takes place online.

"I think social media has really transformed sexual identity, especially for sexual minorities, because often before social media, the only place you could find other LGBTQ people were gay bars," Robinson said. "Of course, those have an age limit. Normally you have to be 21 to get in. And so I think social media has allowed much younger people to find community."

For those navigating their own sexual identity, looking to learn more, or who are simply curious, Business Insider has compiled a list of more commonly known and used terms. Some people may find multiple identities resonate with them, while others may choose not to identify with any defined terms.

Lesbian

Broadly and historically speaking, "lesbian" has been defined as a woman who is attracted to other women. However, LeClaire notes that people who don't identify as female will still use the label.

"I know plenty of nonbinary people who identify as lesbian," LeClaire said.

The GLAAD Media Reference Guide defines nonbinary as a term " ... used by some people who experience their gender identity and/or gender expression as falling outside the categories of man and woman. They may define their gender as falling somewhere in between man and woman, or they may define it as wholly different from these terms."

For PinkNews, Amy Ashenden interviewed three individuals who identify as both nonbinary and lesbian.

"I think it's sort of disingenuous to claim that you can't be both nonbinary and lesbian because you can definitely have an authentic lesbian experience as a nonbinary person," one participant, H, told Ashenden.

Bisexual

LeClaire defines bisexuality as an attraction to more than one gender.

While the prefix "bi" means two, LeClaire said that modern understanding of bisexuality encompasses attraction to more than just two genders.

LeClaire points to the Bisexual Manifesto of 1990, originally published in the now-shuttered Bay Area Bisexual Network's publication Anything That Moves, as a key document in defining the current usage of bisexual.

"Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity ... In fact, don't assume that there are only two genders," the manifesto says. "Do not mistake our fluidity for confusion, irresponsibility, or an inability to commit. Do not equate promiscuity, infidelity, or unsafe sexual behavior with bisexuality."

Pansexual

Pansexuality and bisexuality can often be used interchangeably. Merriam-Webster defines pansexuality as "of, relating to, or characterized by sexual desire or attraction that is not limited to people of a particular gender identity or sexual orientation."

Identifying as pansexual can sometimes be due to a generational difference, according to LeClaire, particularly for individuals who began to identify themselves with liking more than two genders before the more modern definition of bisexuality.

"Some people also like to differentiate pansexuality as meaning that you don't really see gender or that doesn't even play even as a slight role in your sexual attraction," LeClaire said. "I think everyone kind of defines that for themselves, really."

Gay

Historically, gay is used for men who are attracted to men. LeClaire notes that this term is sometimes used interchangeably with lesbian.

GLAAD's media resource glossary says that gay is "used to describe people whose enduring physical, romantic, and/or emotional attractions are to people of the same sex (e.g., gay man, gay people)."

The GLAAD guide notes that it is often preferable to call people gay rather than homosexual, which is "an outdated term."

Asexual

The term "asexual" broadly refers to someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction or desire for sex. But asexuality itself is, according to LeClaire, a spectrum.

Under the catchall umbrella of asexuality is graysexual, which refers to someone who falls "between the lines of sexual and asexual," according to LeClaire. Someone who is graysexual may have conditional sex, or have it depend upon the person.

Another identity within the asexual umbrella is demisexual, which also refers to conditional sexual attraction, generally to someone the individual knows very well.

"You have developed a rapport with them, you've developed maybe like a loving friendship and you tend to only feel sexual attraction under those conditions," LeClaire said.

Allosexual

Allosexuality is the converse of asexuality; it means you have sexual attraction and desire sex, according to LeClaire.

As Claire Lampen reported in Women's Health Magazine, the usage of the term allosexual is rooted in the asexual community. It's meant to reframe an assumption of attraction.

"The term 'allosexual' helps eliminate the idea that being 'asexual' is abnormal," Lampen writes.

Heterosexual

Heterosexuality is often known as being "straight." The LGBTQIA Resource Center at UC Davis defines heterosexuality as a "sexual orientation in which a person feels physically and emotionally attracted to people of a gender other than their own."

Around 90.1% of regular characters on prime-time scripted broadcasts in the 2018-2019 season were heterosexual, according to GLAAD Media Institute's report "Where We Are on TV."

Homosexual

Homosexuality broadly refers to gay and lesbian people. However, the LGBTQIA Resource Center at UC Davis calls it an "outdated term.

"Historically, [homosexuality] was a term used to pathologize gay and lesbian people."

The GLAAD Media Reference Guide highlights "homosexual" as a term to avoid.

"Because of the clinical history of the word 'homosexual,' it is aggressively used by anti-gay extremists to suggest that gay people are somehow diseased or psychologically/emotionally disordered — notions discredited by the American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association in the 1970s," the guide says.

Monosexual

Monosexuality is attraction to one gender. Lesbian or gay can fall under this category, according to LeClaire.

People who identify as exclusively heterosexual can also be considered monosexual, as they are attracted to one gender.

Polysexual

Polysexuality means to be attracted to many different types of genders, but not all genders, according to Robinson.

Actor Ezra Miller has not identified himself as polysexual, but has discussed being in what he calls a "polycule," a group of sexual partners of different genders.

"I'm trying to find queer beings who understand me as a queer being off the bat, who I make almost a familial connection with, and I feel like I'm married to them 25 lifetimes ago from the moment we meet," Miller told Ryan Gajewski in a Playboy interview.

Queer

Queer is a catchall term that encompasses any identity outside of cisgender (someone who does not identify as transgender), heterosexual, or allosexual, according to LeClaire.

LeClaire said that the usage of queer, however, is very dependent on the person; not everyone will refer to themselves as queer.

The hesitation to use the term queer may be due, in part, to the age of the person using it.

"Identity categories are also very generational," Robinson said.

Historically, queer has been used as a derogatory word for those within the LGBTQIA community. WNYC's Nancy — self-described by its hosts as a queer podcast — devoted a whole episode to the linguistic evolution of the word "queer" from slur to tentative term of empowerment. In 1990, the group Queer Nation was founded by AIDS activists; the usage of the term, historian Amy Sueyoshi told WNYC, was meant as a form of reclamation.

The stylebook for NLGJA: The Association of LGBTQ Journalists, acknowledges the legacy and modern usage of the term:

"Originally a pejorative term for gay, now being reclaimed by some gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and non-heterosexual people as a self-affirming umbrella term. Some people may identify their sexual orientation as queer because they find the other labels inaccurate or overly restrictive. Some straight people who identify with LGBTQ culture, such as children of queer parents, call themselves 'culturally queer.' Queer is still offensive as an epithet to many."

Thin Dildos: It’s Simple But Does The Job Well!

Thin Dildos: It’s Simple But Does The Job Well!

Dildos are surely great funs, if used in the correct way. And if you’re a beginner to dildos, you must consider thin dildos to start with. They are simple but using them will never give you the chance to regret. This post explores almost everything about thin dildos. Keep reading!

The Origin

Masturbation is an extremely healthy activity that, in my opinion, brings a woman closer to her sexuality. Besides, it allows her to get to know her body better and with this, she knows how to better guide her partner to provide the desired pleasure to her.

Today, dildos are part of the sex toy kit of almost all women. However, when it was invented in the 19th century, it was actually used to treat women who had symptoms of anxiety and melancholy. The story is very funny and if you want to know more , watch out the  film Hysteria, by Tanya Wexler.

Now, let’s get back to the specific type of dildo- the thin one! Despite different sizes and shapes, these have the basic function of stimulating the intimate region. They can be made of silicone, elastane, acrylic or cyber skin.

A Few Words of Greater Significance!!

Thin dildos are devices that can be magical for many women, especially when they can't reach orgasm just by penetration. To keep them safe and healthy, it is important to have some special care of them.

Some materials like latex can cause allergic reactions. If you have any type of allergy, stick to the manufacturer's information and the stamps of the National Health Surveillance Agency.

Another important precaution is cleaning. Yes, vibrators have to be cleaned! After use, wash them with antibacterial soap and let them dry well. The batteries and all electrical parts must be removed before washing.

One more thing, like the other varieties, thin dildos are also non-transferable items. So, due to the possibility of passing diseases like candidacies or herpes, it is not a good idea to share your thin dildo with others.

Is It Possible to Have Sex With A Thin Dildo?

I don't even have to answer, right! As I already showed, thin dildos are very interesting to be used together with a partner. But you can also innovate and use it dildo while being penetrated or at the time of foreplay.

But it is important to talk to your partner first. Although it is an excellent way to get sex out of the routine and try new experiences, many men are intimidated with the use of dildos or other sexual objects.

Now, Some Great Tips that Can Help You in Getting the Most out of the Use

Let’s get in to the topic directly!!

Plan Your Budget

There are thin dildos out there for all kinds of budgets. You can buy a very cheap basic one or you can get a better one with a better budget. You can even find dildos that you can control from the mobile phone, with multiple speed and functions. They are great to play distance with your partner!

Determine the Size  

The size of the thin dildos really matters. How to choose the size of your erotic toy? Before buying your thin dildo, be sure to check its insertable dimensions. You won't believe how many people buy one of those and then send it back after seeing it’s size. So, make sure to carefully read the descriptions of the product just like how these products' descriptions are written.

The Preparation

Wash your thin dildo before using it for the first time. Then find a comfortable and quiet place where you are not disturbed so you can focus on enjoying it. Remember, some dildos are louder than others. So, if you share a flat with other people, first, consider checking the noise of the same first and judge whether closing a door will work or not. As a rule, low-priced dildos are louder and those of better price are quieter.

Get To Point Up

Once everything is ready, apply some lubricant to your toy.  Thin dildos are not very good at preliminary games, so even women need some lubricant to get started. Experts always recommend the use of water-based lubricants since they are good for the materials of your toy, ensuring the durability of the same.

Enjoy!

It is usually best to start slowly when you are using a new thin dildo. Touch and play with your dildo, before focusing on your pleasure points. After getting used to the toy, you can increase the pace and go ahead calmly.

How to Clean Thin Dildos?
Cleaning a dildo is not as bad as cleaning the garage or washing the car!! Here are three easy tips that can make the cleaning and caring for your dildo even easier. Let’s check them out now!!

Clean It Before and After Each Use

The easiest way to do this is to spray an antibacterial sex toy cleaner on it and then clean it with a lint-free towel. If you have a vibrating thin dildo, you don't have to worry about damaging the engine by cleaning it in this way.

Water Based Lubricants

Water-based lubricants are completely safe to use with all types of dildos, as well as preservatives. Other lubricants can cause chemical reactions with some materials such as silicone or rubber.

So, now when you know almost everything about thin dildos, what’s stopping you?? Order the best thin dildo for you today!! Trust me; it will help you in loving yourself in a much sensible way. Moreover, you will enjoy the acts of making yourself happy like never before!!

Gay Men in a Relationship

Gay Men in a Relationship

Us guys in relationships make up around 60% of the gay community. We also make up around 25% of new HIV infections which sends a clear message that HIV can affect us all, whether we’re coupled up or not. We all need to be proactive in ending HIV, no matter what type of relationship we are in – monogamous, open, poz/neg, neg/neg or poz/poz.  Find out more at The Guardian.

How can we do this? Well, we need to ensure neg guys and those of us who aren’t sure of our status test often, that poz guys treat early, and all of us continue to stay safe. You should know that gay relationships are more than just using dildos on holidays. Much more than that.

IT ALL STARTS WITH TESTING

If either you and/or your boo are negative, your part in ending HIV begins with testing.

A lot of cases of HIV transmission are from guys who think they are neg, but actually have HIV and don’t know it. That’s why regular and frequent testing is so important; even if you are in a relationship, and even more so if you are in an open relationship.

If you’re a neg guy, you should be testing at least twice a year, four times a year if you are in an open relationship with plenty of action and each time you think you may have been exposed to HIV.

With rapid HIV testing, results are back within 30 minutes, so it’s easier than ever. Find your nearest test site in NSW here, alternatively if you are in Sydney you can also visit a[TEST] which is free and requires no Medicare card.

KEEP ONE ANOTHER SAFE

HIV prevention strategies have evolved over the last few years. Condoms and lube still provide great protection against HIV and other STIs but now we also have PrEP and UVL added to the mix. This means that we now have a range of options available to us so we can have as hot a time as we like, all while keeping ourselves and our partner/s safe. You can always go solo with the dildo if your patner isn't available.

MONOGAMOUS?

If you’re both negative you may have agreed to fuck each other exclusively and therefore may want to stop using condoms. If so, you need to test and be sure of your status before you throw a farewell party for your rubbers. Talk, Test, Test, Trust is a useful strategy when deciding not to use condoms any more when you’re both negative.

OPEN?

Being in an open relationship where you’re both neg means that regular testing for both of you is the best way to always know your status and keep one another safe. Opening things up adds a level of complexity to your relationship. You should have an honest conversation about the rules and expectations and consider whether PrEP fits into the equation.

POZ AND NEG?


Gay couple is having fun in the woods with their dog. Carrying a dog in a backpack on his back. They are happy and joyful. Enjoying a beautiful autumn day in the mountain forest.

If one of you is poz and the other neg, then testing is still important for both of you. It keeps the neg partner’s HIV status in check, keeps track of the positive partner’s viral load, and if either of you contract an STI, you can get on to treatment sooner than later.

For the poz guy, getting on treatment to achieve a UVL is a sure way to prevent HIV transmission to the neg partner. In the case where a UVL cannot be achieved, using condoms and/or the neg partner taking PrEP are effective alternatives.

BOTH POZ?

If you’re both poz and plan to not use condoms, this is considered a safe sex practice against HIV transmission. However, the risk of STI transmission is significantly increased if you don’t use condoms, so as a couple, make sure you take that into consideration. If you can't help it though, you can always use erotic dildos for gay partners you have.

Everyone has a part to play in ending HIV by 2020. You, your boo and the guys you play with too.

Understanding the Difference Between Sexual Identity, Preference, and Fantasy

Understanding the Difference Between Sexual Identity, Preference, and Fantasy

Paul, a slim, attractive, 29-year-old white man who owns a landscaping company, was referred to me by his therapist (with whom he was making no progress) shortly after he attempted suicide. He told me that eight months previously, Julie, his fiancée, had discovered that he'd been having unprotected anal sex with men. When she confronted him, he denied it, but soon broke down and confessed. Devastated and angry, she broke off their engagement, accusing him of being duplicitous (she believed they were monogamous) and secretive. Worst of all, she felt frightened that he'd put her at risk for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections.

Paul loved Julie and said he knew she was the woman for him. They'd dated for three years and been engaged for one. But Julie had rebuffed all his desperate and obsessive attempts to win her back. Ultimately, she'd had a restraining order issued against him. Shortly after this, Paul engaged in a binge of sexual acting-out with both men and women, culminating in the suicide attempt that brought him to my office.

The truth is that many men who have sex with men aren't gay or bisexual. Although their confused mental and emotional state resembles that of the initial stages of coming out, gay men go on to develop a gay identity, whereas these men don't.

Therapists who treat such men need to realize that just because a client is sexual with the same gender doesn't necessarily reflect his sexual or romantic orientation. While we may believe we've accurately assessed whether a client is gay, it isn't up to us as therapists to make this judgment.

Understanding Straight Men Who Have Sex with Men

There's growing evidence that many men who have sex with men aren't all gay or bisexual. According to the Centers for Disease Control, more than 3 million men who self-identify as straight secretly have sex with other men—putting their wives or girlfriends at risk for HIV infection and other sexually transmitted infections.

To best treat these men, therapists and clients need to be able to differentiate four terms that are often confused: sexual identity and orientation; sexual preferences; sexual fantasies; and sexual behavior. Contrary to common usage, they aren't always in alignment.

Sexual identity and orientation encompasses one's sexual and romantic identity, in which thoughts, fantasies, and behaviors work together in concert. It's the alignment of affectional, romantic, psychological, spiritual, and sexual feelings and desires for those of the same or opposite gender. Sexual orientation doesn't change over time. One's sexual behaviors and preferences might change, but like one's temperament, one's orientation remains mostly stable. The term also refers to how someone self-identifies, not how others may categorize him or her. Some people self-identify as straight, while others self-identify as gay or lesbian, bisexual, or questioning. It's important as therapists to ask your clients how they self-identify, regardless of with whom they have sex.

Sexual preferences refer to sexual acts, positions, and erotic scenarios that someone prefers to have while engaging in sexual activity. The term takes into account what individuals like to do and get into sexually, not necessarily with whom they like to do it. Preferences and erotic interests can change over time, as one becomes more open or closed to certain thoughts and behaviors.

Sexual fantasies are any thoughts that one finds arousing. They can encompass anything—sexual positions, romantic encounters, body parts, clothing and shoe fetishes, even rape. Sexual fantasies aren't necessarily acted out. In fact, in many cases, they aren't.

Sexual behavior is any behavior intended to pleasure oneself and/or one's sexual partner. It doesn't necessarily reflect one's orientation. For example, men who are imprisoned engage in sexual behaviors with other men, but do so out of sexual necessity, not because of erotic interest in another man. They desire the behavior and the sexual release it achieves, and the gender of the partner is secondary.

Why Men Have Sex with Men

For straight men who have sex with men, same-sex encounters aren't about romance or sexual attraction and desire, but about sexual and physiological arousal—"getting off" with another who's male and accessible. They don't sexually desire or get aroused by looking at other men, only by the sexual act. But if they don't actively desire other men, how do they get to the point of having sex with them? These men typically want to bond with and get affection from other men. Their behavior may reflect a desire to experiment, to engage in something that's taboo, or to express inner psychological conflicts involving their sexual feelings and desires that have nothing to do with having a gay or bisexual identity.

Straight men who have sex with men do so for a variety of reasons. Some have been sexually abused and are compulsively reenacting childhood sexual trauma by male perpetrators; some find sexual release with another man more accessible; some have sex with men because it's easier and requires fewer social skills than those required to have sex with women; some are "gay for pay" and get financial rewards; some like the attention they receive from other men; some like anal sex, which they're otherwise too ashamed to talk about or engage in with their female partners.

When I learn that a straight client is having sex with men, I ask a series of questions: What is your interest in men? Do you prefer one type over another? Do you feel drawn and compelled to satisfy your sexual urges with men? Do you care about the physical appearance of the man? Do women play any role in the fantasy? Is it different for you if they aren't? I also try to listen for the themes running through their sexual interests and fantasies, which often decode aspects of their personal identity and histories.

I used this approach with Paul. When I asked him to describe his situation, he told me he was sexually aroused only by women, and that his fantasies mostly were about women and brought him to orgasm. I asked him what the men who were occasionally included in his fantasies looked like, and he told me that they were faceless; even their physiques didn't matter to him. Paul also told me that he always had sexual fantasies about men "controlling him" by telling him to please them. His most common and peak erotic fantasies included being "hypnotized or drugged" by the man whose spell he was under.

Links with the Past

In subsequent sessions, I asked Paul about sexual abuse because it can lead to homosexual behavior (not homosexual orientation), but he denied it. His father, he told me, was an alcoholic who frequently physically abused and humiliated him. Because Paul wasn't good at sports, his father taunted him, calling him a "girly" man. To test his mettle as a fighter, his father once initiated a fist fight that left Paul bruised and bleeding from his mouth. He longed to have his father's love and acceptance, but didn't know how to get it. His mother never intervened; instead, she'd comfort her son after these abusive episodes.

Paul was sympathetic to his mother. He saw how his father humiliated and intimidated her. Although she was never beaten, she lived under the threat of violence. He recalled that, as a child, he hated his father and wished him dead, so that he and his mother could have a nice life together.

I consider sexual fantasies and erotic interests—whether expressed in healthy or unhealthy ways—as inseparable extensions of our core identity. They're clues to the past. Often they're unsuccessful attempts to resolve problems from childhood that are somehow eased in the erotic realm.

I began to see Paul's sexual contacts with men as an attempt to resolve the conflictual relationship with his father. As he attempted, unconsciously, to master the abuse and humiliation he received from his father as a child, he placed himself in sexual situations where he was at risk and felt humiliated all over again. With the other man in control, Paul was "helpless." He was under the spell of the other man, who was intoxicated, just as his father had been.

Paul soon began to understand that he was "returning to the scene of the crime" for several reasons. First, he realized that he was not only angry at his father, but also "hungry" for the father he'd never had. He'd sought sex with men as a way of finding the nurturance and male acceptance he never received from his father. He tried to talk to his father about all the anger he'd accumulated since his childhood, but his father—still an active drinker—just laughed and called him weak.

Fortunately, he was able to feel my empathy for him and my sorrow for what he'd been through. He allowed me to "father" him in appropriate therapeutic ways. For example, he didn't have a lot of money, so he couldn't come more than once weekly, but I thought he needed more frequent sessions. So I allowed him to call me outside the therapy hour on my cell phone if he felt like going out and having sex with a man, so I could help him withstand the urge. He needed to feel that I was there for him when he experienced anxiety and traumatic feelings, and was overwhelmed with what he felt was my sincere interest in being available to him. His calls never lasted more than 15 minutes and were never more frequent than twice weekly for several months. He brought in his journal and left it with me to read, and I didn't charge him for my time.

Ultimately, Paul was able to hold his mother and father accountable for their negative behavior toward him in childhood. Having had an abusive father and neglectful mother, he came into treatment letting them off the hook and reenacting the trauma by displacing the anger and shame on himself and his fiancée.  He needed a safe place to explore his sexual behavior without being labeled gay, bisexual, or even questioning. At that time, he was searching chastity device online for him to get disciplined. This wasn't a case that revolved around whether he was gay, but rather what his original trauma was and how it could be resolved. Had Paul not been heterosexual, his gay identity would have surfaced during treatment.

Coming Out Straight

Therapists who work with this population have to follow their clients' leads. The work is as much about education as psychotherapy. It's crucial to give each man who has sex with men information about homosexuality and the coming-out process, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, family-of-origin issues, and mood disorders that could contribute to the desire to have sex with males. However, as the work evolves, it's up to the client himself to decide if this is the beginning of the coming-out process, a sign of early sexual abuse, a sexual addiction, or some other form of acting out. It could also just be that once-in-a-while sex with men is something that a man might want, and means nothing more than that. As Freud is often said to have remarked, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!"

Fleshlight: The optimum tool for your pleasure!

Fleshlight: The optimum tool for your pleasure!

Pink Lady Fleshlight is the perfect tool for your pleasure! The original: It is made of pink soft-touch material for the widest sense of authenticity. Heat the Pink Lady to body temperature, lubricate it with an aqueous lubricant and then it is ready for use. Pink Lady is easy to keep clean and with proper nursing, she becomes a faithful sex friend for many years to come. Pink Lady Fleshlight is one of the world's most popular welding rods, not least because it's easy to carry, and with its discreet flashlight look it passes unnoticed in most situations. Depth 23 cm. Live with lubricants.

Count Cockula is a compact release page in true Fleshlight spirit. Count Cockula is as easy to clean as a normal sized Fleshlight, but takes less space and has a completely different type of exterior. In contrast, the inside is full of big "knots" in the Fang texture, in a slightly smaller format that is unique to this Fleshlight.

This fleshlight lace page is made of patented material that gives an incredible sense of authenticity. No other manufacturer has succeeded in imitating the authenticity of this material, making it unique in the market. So caring for your fleshlight is also equally important.

Tips for the best feeling

Put the soft vagina in warm water so that it gets body temperature. Then apply a fair amount of lubricant. Feel free to try different temperatures. Even the amount of lubricant can be varied so you'll find a slip and a wetness that suits you.

Care instructions

Pick apart your sex toy and rinse it with warm water. Never clean your Fleshlight with soap. You risk then wiping the material so that it loses its sense of authenticity. For best results when cleaning, use Fleshlight - Fleshwash. It's a special solution for fleshlight the same content as used in silicone chastity devices after sex.

When rinsing your Fleshlight it is important that you allow it to dry properly. Allow it to dry in an airy space and do not screw on the lid while it is still moist.

Stylish and portable Fleshlight with the eye in the eye

Six in a can O'Doyle's is just what it sounds like, a fleshlight that looks like a classic O'Doyle's jar on the outside, but inside it hides something else that also has age limit. On the label of the cane it is "Backdoor Stout Irish Style", which is a word-writer playing Irish's love for anal games. Inside the can is a sleeve in the shape of an anus and made in a super soft and natural material called Real Feel Super Skin. The sleeve is skin-colored and has an inner structure called "Mini-Forbidden", this is an extra tight and beautiful variant of the original "forbidden". "Mini-Forbidden" is about 5 cm shorter and much harder, the opening has only a diameter of 1 cm and then opens up and becomes 1.2-1.4 cm in diameter.

Perfect gift for the beer lover with the eye in the eye

Fleshlight can also be heated to make it feel more natural. You only place it in warm water until the desired temperature has been obtained. Because it is water resistant, the fleshlight is also easy to clean after finishing up, which gives a long life and many nice moments. Fits men with normal size to short penis, your penis is longer than 17 cm, there are other options. Because it is water resistant, the fleshlight is also easy to clean after finishing up, which gives a long life and many nice moments. Fits men with normal size to short penis, your penis is longer than 17 cm, there are other options. Because it is water resistant, the fleshlight is also easy to clean after finishing up, which gives a long life and many nice moments. Fits men with normal size to short penis, your penis is longer than 17 cm, there are other options.

Fleshlight is one of the world's largest sex toys manufacturers and it's easy to understand why Toys have long been something for vaginal and anal stimulation, but with a fleshlight, men can also enjoy. It’s perfect for use by yourself or with your partner. It’s an erotic spice in the foreplay or a good finish. The possibilities are endless, a fleshlight is easy to bring and does not take up much space in the bag and therefore it's perfect for anyone who wants to enjoy even when the partner is not present. The fleshlight comes in a discreet package and is simple and easy to clean and bring along.

Whether your partner loves beer or not, Fleshlight is six in a can O'Doyle's donate both this and is very enjoyable. The fleshlight can be used as a mood razor together or on its own. It's easy to store is very discreet because the surface looks like an ordinary beer can, but inside hiding something at least as exciting. The super soft material along with the possibility of warming the fleshlight gives a natural and exciting experience that goes beyond the usual. Used with a water-based lubricant for extra enjoyment and when done, wash the flesh light easily in warm water.

Fleshlight - Stamina Training Unit - Multi-Set

Fleshlight - The Stamina Training Unit is a soft, realistic and even tighter, unanimous product with unique features. It is made of Fleshlights patented Real Super Skin® material with a truly textured inside that helps you improve your sexual endurance and technology. It not only increases the stamina but also recreates the feeling experienced at six. Using the Fleshlight STU (Stamina Training Unit) increases your stamina twice in a true sexual intercourse. This means that if you manage to use Fleshlight - STU for 10 minutes, your sexual endurance increases to 20 minutes. Use - Before and after we recommend water-based lubricants when using your Fleshlight. Preserve your durability and true feel by treating your Fleshlight with body pads after cleansing.

This set includes:

  • A Fleshlight Stamina Sex Toy
  • Fleshlight renewing powder 100ml
  • Fleshwash Toy Cleaner 100ml
  • Fleshlube Water 100ml
  • Shower holder
  • Flight Adapter for shower mount